If I’m Chris Ballard, for the next month, Joey Bosa’s agent…

[Kray007]

Is my best friend.

From all we hear, Plan A was Trey Hendrickson. I won’t pretend to know what they offered, but they couldn’t get his signature on the bottom line. There might be better options for Plan B, but I don’t want to ship the rest of our 1st round picks for the next 4 years to Los Angeles for Maxx Crosby. So, desperate measures are needed, and, while it might not help, there’s never any downside to sucking up. So…

Plan A for Plan C would be

Call his agent, every day, just to say hi and shoot the breeze.
Send his wife flowers.
Buy his son a puppy.
Send Carlie Irsay out to his house to wash and wax his car.
Enroll him in the Cheese Of The Month Club.
Send him Omaha Steaks…the deluxe box, no burgers or hot dogs.
Cater a lunch for his office, lobster rolls and champagne for everyone.
Fly him to Augusta on the team jet for a round of golf with Tiger.
Get an airplane to fly over his house and skywrite San Francisco sucks.
Have Taylor Swift go to his daughter’s birthday party and sing happy birthday.
Send Santa to his house with the pony he never got as a kid.
Have Daniel Jones mow his grass.